To My Future Self

Photo by Wendy Aros-Routman on Unsplash

Dear Future Me,

Whether you read this in five years, ten, or fifteen, I want you to remember what it was like to be me. Being in your early twenties is like being on a roller coaster. To recall (because I highly doubt you'll forget) what it was like to be ostracized, criticized, and judged because of your gender and the color of your skin. Remember to face each challenge that comes your way with grace, integrity, and resilience. 

I want you to remember what it was like to be twenty-one and in another country. To feel freer and more confident in your skin. Finally, realize what it means to be beautiful and remember that it has nothing to do with your outside appearance. Embrace all you are and who you are naturally, without compromise or apologizing to those who see you differently. 

Remember what it was like to cut off your hair for the first time and feel scared and excited all at once. And remember how you felt empowered by your encouragement, and NO ONE ELSE'S. Don't be afraid to give a graceful clap back at those who try to tear you down. Just because you are older doesn't mean those older than you shouldn't respect you. You give respect so you can get it back. And if you get disrespect, don't be afraid to put those haters in their place. But also remember that those younger than you have feelings too. And they deserve respect just as much as you do. 

Choosing to follow your dreams was not a mistake. And those who ask, "well, what can you do with _______ degree?" should be shut down immediately. Don't let doubts dull your shine. You keep doing you. Because all those who doubted you help you become the successful person I know you can be. Don’t let anybody try you, honey; you are worth more than they think. 

It's sad to say, but being afraid is smart. It's okay to be scared to have a son you know who could be killed one day for being Black in public. Don't be afraid to have that talk with them or your nieces and nephews. They need to know what it's like to live in a country where they are not valued and teach them that if they love themselves, everyone else will too. Hopefully, it's not an issue, but you can never be too cautious. It's okay to be scared to have a daughter. Let her know that allowing others to sexualize her will not be tolerated and that being a woman is the greatest gift on this earth. Tell all the children that being ANY shade of black or brown is beautiful. And that loving yourself is the most important thing you can do in life. No one else is going to love you as you should love you. Tell that to yourself, tell that to your children, and everyone you ever meet. 

And you. Never be afraid of getting older. It's a gift and privilege stolen from so many Black lives such as #SandraBland #TamirRice #TrayvonMartin #SamDubose #AltonSterling #PhilandoCastile, and many many more. Every year on your birthday, I want you to cry out and say, "I made it!" It's an accomplishment these days. If you show those who look up to you that you value your life, your skin, your everything, then they will learn to do that too. 

Don't stop pushing for equity. We have a long way to go. If we aren't there by the time you get this, we need you to keep speaking up. So many things are wrong, but sometimes a couple of words can make it okay, even if it's just for the day. 

With love, 

Your Twenty-two-year old self.

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